CUT Your Dialogue Video
1st Impressions and Mastering Your Opening Pages
Hi, and welcome back to "Don't Write Your First Three Pages Until You Do These Three Things."
This is PART II, titled CUT.
Here, we'll explore how to get literary managers, agents, and executives to read your script all the way through. I'm Kelly Keough, and I'm excited to guide you through this next video.
In this session, we're going to delve into how to CUT dialogue that doesn't support the story. This is crucial because trimming those first three pages down to two can significantly enhance the readability and impact of your script.
Cutting dialogue can be challenging, but remember, dialogue serves three primary functions:
it advances the story,
underscores the theme,
and delivers memorable taglines.
What's in store...
How to CUT dialogue that doesn’t support the story
How to CUT dialogue that doesn't tell the plan
How to CUT dialogue that doesn't tell the theme
How to CUT dialogue that doesn't tell the character's tagline
Parentheticals have to go
Let's dive into the specifics of what we can CUT to refine our script.
First, consider cutting dialogue that includes parenthetical references, which can clutter the page and slow down the reader.
For example, Elyse Hollander's BLONDE AMBITION script from the Blacklist 2016 makes use of several parenthetical references in just three pages, which, while effective in some contexts, could be streamlined for greater impact.
One word lines are so irritating
Another area to examine is dialogue that tapers off into single words. This stylistic choice can be found in numerous successful scripts, but when you're aiming to make a strong impression without the backing of a Blacklist mention or established connections, clarity and conciseness are key.
Furthermore, dialogue that doesn't propel the story forward or enrich it in any meaningful way should be scrutinized.
A good benchmark is the dialogue in BARBIE (2023) where every line delivered by Helen Mirren's voiceover advances the story, theme, and tone. This demonstrates the importance of discerning what to keep and what to cut.
Stating the theme in dialogue is necessary
But, it obviously does not happen in ANATOMY OF A FALL (2023).
In TOP GUN: MAVERICK (2022), we encounter dialogue that directly ties into the central theme and character development, showcasing alternative lines that reveal deeper layers of the narrative. This exemplifies how dialogue can serve to reinforce the story's themes and character arcs. See script in video.
Taking cues from the Netflix TV series, RAISING DION, we see how efficiently dialogue can set up the premise and emotional stakes of the story right from the start, demonstrating the power of well-crafted dialogue in establishing the narrative foundation. See script in video.
Don't cut dialogue that shows a character’s emotion
THELMA AND LOUISE (1991) offers another excellent example of using dialogue to immediately convey character dynamics and emotional tension, highlighting the effectiveness of dialogue in drawing the audience into the story's emotional landscape. See script in video.
When crafting dialogue, ensure it serves to convey character emotions, advance the story, or encapsulate the theme. Unnecessary subtext that doesn't serve these purposes can often be omitted or introduced later in the script, beyond the crucial first three pages.
Writing an action script? Open with action, not dialogue
In action-driven narratives like TOP GUN: MAVERICK, the focus is on showcasing the protagonist's journey through action rather than dialogue, emphasizing the importance of genre in determining the role and extent of dialogue in your script. See script in video.
To summarize, cutting dialogue effectively requires a careful balance of the following:
advancing the story,
highlighting the theme,
and defining characters through their speech.
By employing these strategies, you can refine your script's opening pages to capture and retain the attention of readers, setting the stage for a compelling narrative.
Get the CUT video slide deck:
Stay tuned for our next video, where we'll explore top-tier persuasive writing techniques in CRAFT PART IV.
Discover techniques to elevate your scriptwriting to new heights. See you then!
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Best wishes,
Kelly E. Keough